Today is the dawn of a new era. An era of awesome. An era of prestige. An era of hope. An era of never failing. An era of extremely good looking superheroes. Write that down. We present to you…TASK FORCE PROFILES!
Agent: Sally
Alias: Captain Kirk
Superpowers: Perky on minimal sleep, supreme wit and British accent.
Favourite Saying: “Who’s manning the command post?”
“Where are my glasses?”
“What floor did I park my car on again?”
Alias: Captain Kirk
Superpowers: Perky on minimal sleep, supreme wit and British accent.
Favourite Saying: “Who’s manning the command post?”
“Where are my glasses?”
“What floor did I park my car on again?”
Agent: Elizabeth
Alias: Know That
Superpowers: Immense knowledge of everything to do with everything, tolerance for the mere mortals around her and omniscient presence.
Favourite Saying: “Well that defeats the purpose.”
“Well, when I was in Toronto…”
Alias: Know That
Superpowers: Immense knowledge of everything to do with everything, tolerance for the mere mortals around her and omniscient presence.
Favourite Saying: “Well that defeats the purpose.”
“Well, when I was in Toronto…”
Agent: Celine
Alias: List That
Superpowers: Uncanny knowledge of all brochures and their contents, ridiculously charming, and emotionally charged.
Favourite Saying: “Wow!”
“That was unnecessary.”
Alias: List That
Superpowers: Uncanny knowledge of all brochures and their contents, ridiculously charming, and emotionally charged.
Favourite Saying: “Wow!”
“That was unnecessary.”
Agent: Alyssa
Alias: Stat That
Superpowers: Intimate knowledge of statistic sheets with her sidekick, Survey Monkey, ability to name and locate 95% of the restaurants in Burlington and is Part 1 of 3 of Team McMaster.
Favourite Saying: “I have to do my stats sheet now.”
“Who is this Alyssa? My name is Parminder!”
“Kat, those are the ugliest sunglasses I have ever seen.”
Alias: Stat That
Superpowers: Intimate knowledge of statistic sheets with her sidekick, Survey Monkey, ability to name and locate 95% of the restaurants in Burlington and is Part 1 of 3 of Team McMaster.
Favourite Saying: “I have to do my stats sheet now.”
“Who is this Alyssa? My name is Parminder!”
“Kat, those are the ugliest sunglasses I have ever seen.”
Agent: Kat
Alias: Drive That
Superpowers: Drives the Burlington Events van- otherwise known as the Starship Enterprise, is a master of Microsoft Excel and its spreadsheet capabilities and makes up Part 2 of 3 of Team McMaster.
Favourite Saying: “Epic fail.”
“Bad life choice”
“My sunglasses are cool.”
Agent: Matt
Alias: Walk That
Superpowers: Able to walk long distances without tiring, switches identities in the blink of an eye and looks ridiculously good in water wings.
Favourite Saying: “Dece”
“Obvi”
Agent: Nicole
Alias: Taste That
Superpowers: Able to get lost while walking in a straight line, knows the owners of basically every restaurant in Burlington and can rapid-fire recite the menus for A Taste of Burlington.
Favourite Saying: “Stop it, Matt.”
“It’s alright guys, I’ve got this.”
"RUDE!"
Agent: Dania
Alias: Traduisez-ça
Superpowers: Instant translation, ability to speak Fringlish and provides Curtis the Plant with life-sustaining H20.
Favourite Saying: “Well I can speak French if you really want me to...”
“Totes McGoats”
“Benvenuto”
Alias: Move That
Superpowers: Mad photography skills, on time if not early for Disco Land shifts and able to lift upwards of 100 brochures without breaking a sweat.
Favourite Saying: “Let me know when you guys are working so I can take a photo of it”
“Why don’t we all go to Emma’s?”
Favourite Saying: “Let me know when you guys are working so I can take a photo of it”
“Why don’t we all go to Emma’s?”
Agent: Andrea
Alias: Busk That
Superpowers: Artistically talented at least when it comes to rollers, a style icon in the sneakers department and can recite all winners of the A J Dunn Sports Person of the Year Award in chronological order.
Favourite Saying: “I won’t rest until I win the bet”
“I HATE clowns”
“Is the paint dry yet?”
Alias: Busk That
Superpowers: Artistically talented at least when it comes to rollers, a style icon in the sneakers department and can recite all winners of the A J Dunn Sports Person of the Year Award in chronological order.
Favourite Saying: “I won’t rest until I win the bet”
“I HATE clowns”
“Is the paint dry yet?”
Agent: Lindsay
Alias: Paint That
Superpowers: Able to paint copious amounts of fish at a time, gives mesmerizing tours of the Waterfront and can instantaneously transform into a Travel Counsellor.
Favourite Saying: “Down the stairs to the left”
“Yes, you do have to pay for parking”
Thus concludes our edition of Task Force Profiles. Our thanks to Natalie, aka "Label That" for designing the cartoons. They are extremely accurate depictions of the Task Force, right down to the water wings that Matt wears daily to work.
And, incase the individual profiles weren't enough for you, take a gander this- Team Task Force: The Composite:
Stay classy Burlington.
-K&A
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